Quick & Easy Hair Tutorial: Curling your Hair with The Wand

Hello everyone and I hope you're all enjoying the last few days of 2013 and getting ready for 2014!!

I've been slacking on making one of these and tonight seemed like a perfect night to sit down and video tape myself curling my hair. This is pretty quick as my hair is super thick and it would be a much longer video if I did my whole head of hair. Enjoy and if you have any questions feel free to leave me a comment below or shoot me an email: lovewithkatie@gmail.com.

Big Heating Pads, Soft Floppy Ears and Whiskers on Kittens.

These photos look as if the animals posed, and maybe they did pose for me in their own little way.. but to me I catch them completely off guard and sometimes in their awkward moments...as I just made a few kissing noises, clicks, whispers, used the word "Food" and "Cookie" and everything in a high pitch tone. 

I love these 3 little babies. They're the only babies I have right now and over the last 10 days they have been by my side while I've healed and recovered from my surgery. They put their whiskers and wet little noses against my face and push their ears against my hand to pet them and show them how much I love them in return. They all managed to take turns laying beside me being sure not to put any pressure against the wounds. I forgot to mention that I've had a heating pad on me constantly, so I know that's the real reason they lay beside me.. but let's pretend it's not. 

I think everyday I don't know where I'd be without their love. 

And I want to thank all of you for the e-mails I received in response to my post about my surgery. It meant the world to me and to know that so many others have gone through the same thing. It's nice to not feel alone. 

A Tuesday, a Doctor, a Surgery and one happy Patient!

I've been waiting until I was truly ready and sit down to write this post. There were so many times during the last few months that I was excited to get back into blogging but with so much going on I didn't feel the timing was right where I could dedicate myself and honesty to my blog. Tonight I'm ready. 

While sitting upright on the couch which has truly been my goal for the last 7 days without too much pain I have so many thoughts being held captive that I need to just let them go!

I've always been honest and open here and for those that have followed from the beginning remember my talk of the struggle with Endometriosis. I had a laparoscopic procedure over 6 years ago which is when I was officially diagnosed with it and was advised that I did not have functioning fallopian tubes. From then I finally understood the constant pain I had everyday but there's not many options aside from surgery that are promising and permanent relief. From doctor to doctor the discussion of children was brought up and finally last January one physician sat down to explain that I would not be able to conceive a child. It was the most disheartening moment that I can possibly remember. Upsetting and of course when I put my trust in others, I believe whatever I'm told. 

I decided this past summer to start fresh. To put all my trust in a new doctor that did not know my history and begin from A-Z without the doctor picking up in the middle of my chaotic story with my lady parts. From the OBGYN he directed me immediately to an amazing Reproductive Specialist. Sitting in the room at my first visit with my new doctor I felt so safe. I had only felt that way with one other doctor in my life and it was the doctor who removed my first breast tumor. This new doctor with only seeing all my previous clinical notes and surgery results 6 years prior looked straight in my eyes and said "If you want to have a baby someday Katie, you will have a baby". I actually left that day feeling more of a woman than I had felt in almost 10 years dating back to my first surgery ever. I felt that there was hope and at the same time I felt ill to my stomach that for so many years I've been living my life based on what other doctors were telling me. 

My first procedure with this new Doctor was an HSG (Hysterosalpingography). Just a little warning for those with Endometriosis it can be extremely uncomfortable but as they always say it varies for everyone. From there they put a dye to be able to see the fallopian tubes and this test only confirms whether or not a fallopian tube is blocked or opened. This test does not tell if they are damaged. After going through this procedure I learned a lot about the difference in a damaged and blocked fallopian tube. This procedure told the doctor that my right fallopian tube was blocked. He then said we needed to plan for surgery.

The one thing about going into having yet another laparoscopic surgery was how many possible scenarios there were when they're done. My doctor sat me down 1 week prior to my surgery and explained the worst case scenario which was there was a possibility they could go in and both two would be damaged in that case they would be removed. However, if that was the case the chance of having a child is still possible because there is the option of IVF (in vitro fertilization). He had a positive answer for everything but he wanted me to prepare myself for the worst. The bright side was that his top goal was removing all the endometriosis he saw so that my day to day life would be so much more comfortable and I would be free from pain. He then would remove whichever or both tubes that were damaged.

Last Tuesday was the day of my surgery. What was on the menu? A Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy with the side of a possible Salpingectomy. I remember feeling so nervous the night before of course which is normal as most do, that something could go wrong, something could be worse, or it will all be for nothing. It was all negative thoughts but a part of me was excited to where there is a chance I could wake up everyday and not have abdominal pain. I now laugh at myself for thinking all of those what if's.

The outcome of my surgery was phenomenal. Though I'm in pain, uncomfortable and just began getting up off the couch and out of bed by myself it's all worth it. Every little ache, sharp pain, dull pain, awkward walking, baby step walking.. it's all worth it! They did the laparoscopy where he then surgically removed all of the endometriosis he located which was on the right and left sides. They do this by either burning away the endo if it's mild and or cutting it away if it's deep. I had some mild spots but unfortunately the majority was deep endometriosis. After thoroughly looking at both fallopian tubes he found that the right tube was severely damaged and had to be removed (Salpingectomy), but the left tube was very healthy which is my saving grace to conceiving naturally someday! Also, while they had planned for the hysteroscopy the doctor had found several uterine polyps inside my uterus which he removed. I'm grateful for the timing and him being so thorough because sooner I found out that those had the chance to lead to uterine cancer. He then saw that I had a Bicornuate Uterus which means my Uterus was an irregular shape which can caused miscarriage and also prevent pregnancy. He continued to do surgery (Metroplasty) in my uterus to bring it to a healthy shape.  Everything that was found inside my uterus was not planned prior to the surgery but more so unexpected. Either way, my doctor really made sure to cover all the bases when he performed my surgery and I'm forever thankful for that. For now I am working on healing and spending the next 6 months getting myself healthy and just working on taking care of myself which I truly never did before.. or at least was never very consistent with that. Then we'll see what happens after that! :)

Fashion Rule #1: No White After Labor Day??

When I woke up this morning I went through my closet and decided it's definitely a pants sort of day. The hardest decision I had was whether I'd wear dark blue jeans, light blue jeans or the strange black/grey jeans. Aside from jeans I have a bunch of white pairs of pants. Why didn't I even nominate those pants? Well, because once Labor Day comes and goes "White Pants" is immediately out of site.. out of mind. I am not sure who actually even told me that. It's just so repetitive and I've heard many people say that since I was a child. Once that thought became clearly visible in my mind this morning, I decided... I call BS on that Fashion Rule and White Pants is what I'll wear and continue to wear throughout the Fall and Winter... If you'd like to see the story behind "No White After Labor Day" here is the Wikipedia Link. 

Wear whatever you are comfortable in & love it! :)

No Labor Here Please. Just Play, Laugh and Snuggle!

A beautiful weekend so far.

We saw friends, cooked out under the moon.

Listened to music surrounded by twinkling white lights.

We and spent time with family.

Tomorrow we will see even more of our family.

I was still able to sneak in some cuddling time with our two kitties.

As busy as life gets don't forget to breathe, relax and embrace the love around you.

Has It Really Been 4 Months?

This is the part where I would place a really cute sad face. When I think of what makes me happy my blog was always my first thought; however, so much time went by, and with so much time that went by I felt so guilty. I can't believe how much I have neglected "Love is Everywhere". Life has been extremely crazy this past year and I have to put my excuse in that the last 4 months were extraordinarily crazy as those months lead up to our Wedding. 

Charlie & I got married on August 17th and it was the most beautiful, memorable, so filled with love day. A day we could never make again because it's a once in a lifetime experience for us and those we love and care for were there to celebrate. It was so amazing. So let me start off what I hope is a new beginning for "Love is Everywhere". There sure was Love Everywhere on August 17th! 

    

The Energy that I Found!

The strangest thing happened less than a month ago. I was sick. Okay, so that wasn't strange because I always get sick, but I had such a severe virus that is has left me without smell or taste. that's the strange part. I'm slowly but surely working my way at trying to get my smell and taste back as I'm 100% healthy. It's the most bizarre thing. Instead of complaining about no taste or smell I've embraced this new experience. I have eaten foods I always hated and I also have been eating better. I might as well eat those gross, healthy foods when I can't taste them, right? 

What also happened after I was health again, I have this amazing burst of energy. I mean "Crazy, where the HECK did you come from energy?" I've been so much more motivated with Wedding Planning and our house! I cleaned out my entire closet and reorganized it all (see below). I went through boxes that were packed away from our first apartment that I have not touched in over 6 years. I threw away things I thought were necessary to save, but were not. I eliminated a lot of clothes and gave them away. It feels so great to simplify my life. 

After my closet was finished and I came across boxes filled with frames and random home accessories I completed my Wall of Frames in the Living Room. Of course, I need to add more photos and rotate some old ones out, but it's beautiful in my eyes!

Then last Sunday night at 7:00pm after running around all day, I decided to tear up the carpet in our spare room not sure what was underneath, but I took the chance. To our surprise there were finished, beautiful, hardwood floors below that crappy carpet! This week I spent cleaning and organizing the room, using furniture we already owned to give the room it's final touches. Our Black & White spare room, I love it!

Little by little.. we've been in our home for over 3 years and it took me this long to get here.. but I'm here and ready to continue improving this home to officially make it our home with our special love & touches!

Loving my smile!

If you remember my post back in October [here] you'll see that one of my lists of life changes was my teeth. It's something that I always wanted corrected, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would ever happen.... well it did. Last July at the office I work at (visit: Dr. Elena-Lee Ritoli, Orthodontics) I got braces on. Just a little over 8 months they are now off and my teeth have never looked so beautiful. I'm in awe and can't stop looking at my teeth in the mirror. Will this infatuation with my teeth end? I don't think it ever will, haha. I always loved smiling but now it's a different smile. There's more confidence behind my smile and I feel amazing. She does amazing work at the office in West Hartford. If you need an orthodontic, that's the place to go. I will now enjoy my first weekend without braces to eat all the foods I was good about and never ate, I'll enjoy some red wine, chips and something really, really chewy. Oh.. I am in love with my smile. Love YOUR smile!

Cleaning out a closet one box at a time.

This evening I began cleaning out my closet. When I say cleaning out my closet, I really mean removing every thing from it. Since we moved in which was over 3 years ago, I have so many boxes on shelves in my closet. They torment me every day that I reach into the closet for an article of clothing. The boxes stress me out. Do you know that feeling? Since they stress me out and they reside in my closet with clothes and my closet resides in our spare room, I feel a weight on my shoulders each day that I get changed. It's been over 3 years and I continue to feel this way, because I've been too lazy to go through those boxes. I finally began the plunge this evening and even though I'm not even halfway finished I already feel relieved in a way.

What I loved about going through some of the boxes was all the interesting things that I found packed away from our apartment which we lived prior to buying our house. One of the things that I found was a notebook. Okay, realistically I found over 10 notebooks because I'm a nut when it comes to notebooks. I have created tons of poetry books, to do list's, random thought notebooks and also password books. It's unbelievable the amount of notebooks that were packed away in the boxes and also those hidden throughout our house. 

In one of the notebooks it lists all these things I wanted to change about myself & life in general. I can't even imagine how many other notebooks are similar to this one. I smiled though looking at the list. Why? Well, because the first few things on the list was "stop biting my nails... clear up acne..".. 

Have I mentioned that nail biting has been a habit I literally was born with, haha. I've struggled with biting my nails forever. I was never a girl that could paint her nails, because the nail polish was gone the following day. I never liked anyone seeing my hands, because I lived with so many people making negative comments about my nails. I've tried so many techniques & tips to quit biting my nails and nothing lasted. Go figure, that I get braces last July and without techniques & tips I stopped biting my nails. All because, well, I couldn't bite my nails with the braces.  It's a great feeling to paint my nails and make them look all pretty & girly. 

The second thing on my list was to clear up my face. Another thing I've been dealing for a long time. A little over 10 years now. I've tried everything under the sun (I'm sure you've heard that before). I really have.. except I had never gone to a doctor. Maybe it was my own pride and being too stubborn. I finally did in October and after a few months it's finally life changing for me. My face is not close to perfect, but it's a far way from where it began. I'm happy.

So you can see why I smiled tonight opening a box and looking through the old notebooks. Two things are checked off a list that has been rewritten over and over for what has been more than a decade of my life. I have so many other things on that list and slowly things are being checked off. 

Clean out your closet... you will feel accomplished.. maybe take some of that weight off your shoulders... perhaps you'll simplify your life a little (even if it's just your closet)... you'll learn about yourself too. :)

Yorkie Splash & Shine Giveaway!

Yorkie Splash & Shine: Website ~ Blog ~ Facebook  ~ Twitter

Peanut LOVES Yorkie Shine & Splash and believe me when I say it's changed his life. A small puppy like him that has the most sensitive skin is now stress free each day after using these products. I recommend these lovely chemical free products if you have a Yorkie or know someone who does! You can read about Peanut's story here: Peanut's Splash Time with Yorkie Splash!

To enter this awesome Giveaway you'll follow the options below. You must like Yorkie Splash & Shine Facebook Page as well Love is Everywhere to enter. The rest are all extra fun entries to help your chances to win!

Prizes: There are TWO sets of Yorkie Splash & Shine samples which includes Yorkie Splash Shampoo, Yorkie Shine Conditioner, and Yorkie Sheen Detangler/Conditioner Spray! So that means there will be TWO winners! Woohoo! Good luck and have fun!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

It Just Takes a Feather

I believe that even if our lives are going great or things are looking up, there's always some underlining issue.. something perhaps small or big that is bothering us. A weight on our shoulders, or lingering above our heads that just takes a feather to drop upon the weight for it to come crashing down on us. 

I know this sounds negative, but I feel it's the truth. We all have something going on in those machines called brains that controls our whole lives. We could look at someone that seems so happy and that their life is perfect. We can pretend we're them and wish every night to finally get their life. But if our wish were to come true, we would then carry along whatever it was that was lingering in their life that the outside world had no idea about. 

Isn't that how life goes? That we try so hard to live our lives to the beat of our favorite song but then we're struggling with ourselves or something else effecting us from living to that awesome beat. No one around us may even know that we're struggling or battling with issues within ourselves or lives. It's not that others don't care, it's just because we are so consumed with work, bills, kids, family, friends and always in a different order each week. We focus on one thing or else too many things at once that we don't pay attention to the struggles we and others around us are facing.

I recently opened my eyes up to others around me. I feel so much guilt for not doing so sooner. I forget that just as I struggle with different parts of my life, so do others around me. I forgot to slow down, stop and find out how others are. I guess, seeing the smiles and hearing good things I don't think to dig deeper to question what their lingering weight is above their head or what keeps their shoulders pointing down. We miss our opening to put our hands under that weight above their head.. and then came a feather and rested itself which then caused all their struggles to come crashing down.

I tell you this so maybe you'll too open your eyes to others around you. And please, if you need someone to do the same for you.. be honest and reach out your hand. Sometimes we're blind.. not because we want to be but because we just forget. We need to be reminded once in a while that every single one of us living today, in the moment has something going on that may not be visible. Next time, when you're with a friend or a family member, someone you love or maybe a stranger you meet for the first time. Ask them.. what their troubles or struggles may be. You may not be able to fix it, but you can help by listening so they don't feel alone.

Sending love to all of you! :)

A Car Ride Away

The greatest part of a relationship that I love is doing things together. I mean, that's what a relationship is right?

There's still so much snow on the ground. We thought perhaps a park close by to our home would have a walking path so we ventured out today with Peanut. We arrived at the park and the site was truly beautiful with snow covering the brick paths and a visible path around the pond; however, it was too deep to bring our little baby. Instead we let him run around the closed in dog park while we sat on the bench together and watched him. No one was there, but Peanut ran free and sniffed every foot around that place. It was nice seeing him feel so alive. It makes us feel good seeing him so happy, because we know we must be doing something right?

In all of our 12 years of being together, Charlie & I have gone on so many little day trips throughout our state and some miles into the surrounding states. It's something that we have loved to do together since day one. And believe me when I say we can really prove to others what opposites we are with so many other aspects of our lives, but the special day trips, just hopping in the car and taking off to nowhere is something I've held so close and loved about us. It's what we have in common, one of our very similar "likes". 

Even though today's little & very short lasting adventure wasn't very far, it was still an adventure that we did together and included our little man. It's something we share that helps to make our relationship whole. I believe every relationship needs something that you enjoy doing together. 

Peanut's Splash Time with Yorkie Splash!

Since we got Peanut the one thing we pride ourselves on is making sure that his hygiene is great all around because he's a little 9 lb baby and can't clean himself. I give him his haircuts because I want to make sure to emphasize his cute face whereas the one time we brought him to the dog groomer, they shaved his face down and we didn't recognize our little Peanut. Poor Peanut...

Charlie months back did some searching for the perfect shampoo & conditioner for Peanut. We've used so many but were never happy with the final results because his fur wasn't shiny or else it just didn't seem as soft as it probably should be. And then one day Charlie found this website called Yorkie Splash and Shine! 

Why we never tried to search for this Yorkie Splash Shampoo & Yorkie Shine Conditioner meant specifically for his breed, I have no idea. Let me tell you that if you smell this set you'll want to wash your hair with this shampoo and conditioner! No lie. Peanut smells so good, and he's so soft for weeks to follow after giving him his bath. There was also a Yorkie Sheen Detangling Spray which we sprayed on him after his bath and periodically throughout the weeks to keep him smelling nice and to prevent knots. 

With all of the other shampoos we've tried his fur has never been this amazing. The best part of this product is that it's all natural. We don't like to put chemicals on Peanut that can hurt him and this is so wonderful on his skin and not irritating at all to him! He's a Yorkie which are known to have sensitive skin.. not anymore! That's always been important and number one to us when it comes to anything with his hygiene and health.

We love this and Peanut really approves! I just had to make a post to share this as Peanut is a big part of Love is Everywhere!  

You can visit Yorkie Splash & Shine: Facebook and Website and Twitter

 

Sitting in Windows

Today was one of those days that I didn't accomplish anything on my checklist only for the pure fact I didn't have one today. Instead, I had a slow start taking my time getting ready which is not the norm as we're always rushing in this house. I met one of my very close and longest friends for lunch with her little son who will be 1 year in a week. We had such a great time catching up on all aspects of our lives. It was beautiful, really beautiful. I left our lunch feeling so fulfilled knowing that we are caught up to date with each other's lives and that she's doing great. That feeling is better than clearing out a whole 'to do list' for one month! 

I came home and spent a little time this afternoon laying with some of our babies in the house. It's been so cold and even with our heat we try to not lose any by putting blankets over the windows, heavy blankets. Sure it's not that stylish but we're warm. The sun was out so I pulled the blankets back so our vampire babies could feel the sunlight coming in through the bay window. They loved it, mainly Minnie the tuxedo cat. She's the only girl out of the babies and sure takes ownership hogging the bay window. I sat watching her trying to figure out what she was thinking. I saw a bird fly by and knew she wanted to catch it, play with it and probably eat it? Then there was cars going by and her head went back and forth trying to catch up with them. I really don't think she knows what cars are. Did I mention our cats are indoors? I feel we deprive them, but with all of the wild animals in our back yard I prefer knowing they're all safe.

As I write this, I should be getting ready for a comedy show tonight. The Wayans are at the Comedy Club tonight. Shawn & Marlon! I am so excited that I'm trying to relax right now and take some deep breaths. Were you an In Living Color fan? If so, you appreciate seeing any of the Wayans family live! So I'm off and I hope to catch up on Love is Everywhere this weekend. Sending love your way!

Wedding Workout!

One thing I've never been that great on is consistency, which if you've read my previous posts I'm a 'change' fanatic so maybe that's why? I kind of give up easily too, perhaps that's a little flaw.. or maybe a big flaw. I always get these great and creative ideas and then I don't quite follow through with them. One thing that's been weighing on me is trying to get in shape for our Wedding. It's not a matter of losing weight, it's just about getting toned and perhaps a better diet? Again, good intentions but do I follow through?

I definitely lost a few days especially with this past storm when it came to my Awesome KT Workout Plan! But I still stay active in between and don't just sit on my butt (okay.. keep telling yourself that KT)... So what is my Awesome KT Working Plan?...

Well I took a bunch of different exercises that other people do and just mixed them up a little bit, because consistency bores me. Walking on the treadmill for even 1/2 hour straight bores me, even if I'm watching a TV show at the same time.

Basically, this is my routine:

• Stretching - whatever works for you! I pulled out my old tennis stretches and it makes my body feel great.
• Jumping Jacks - I use my phone to time myself and it pretty much averages a jumping jack per second. I normally will do about 90+ of them.
• Crunches - Oh I love crunches because I'm not a sit-up girl what-so-ever! I do a little under 100 of these.
• Treadmill - I break it up throughout my exercise. So for the first cycle about 10 minutes on 4.0. Also, I have 2 wimpy 2lb weights that I hold while walking because it's awkward to do nothing with your hands. 
• Push-ups - I do baby push-ups.. you know where your knees touch the ground? I can only manage 12 at a time.
• Jumping Jacks - Yes, these again! 90+ more baby!
• Crunches - ... here they come again!
• Treadmill.....don't forget the wimpy weights.....  Push-ups.... and then Treadmill again... and then I have 2 12lb weights that I use to try and gain a little arm muscle because I lack in that category.

As you can see my exercise plan looks confusing, but for me it's not. Sometimes, I still mix it and do things out of order but I love it.. I really do and somehow it motivates me. I guess that's what is most important right? Figure a plan out that is appealing to you and that you love. Most of all make yourself feel good and don't worry about what you look like doing it!

Wedding Hairstyle Ideas!

c/o Pinterest: top left / top right / bottom left / bottom right

I'm quite indecisive and since I'm not sure how long my hair will be by August, I've been scoping out many up-do hairstyles for the big day. Originally, plan was to have it down even though our Wedding is mid August and it most likely will be pretty hot (I'd like to think of it as luke warm). These are so beautiful and I love the little extras in the hair! Right now my favorite is the top left!

Reversing Change.

What I love about being able to make our own choices is how we can change things whenever we'd like. I love change. I think it's because I like the surprise of it all and how things will be different once you make the plunge. One of the changes that I can do about myself which I've taken advantage of since I was in Middle School was my hair. I must have colored, highlighted and cut my hair a trillion times (okay maybe a bit sarcastic).. but for those who know me are shaking their head in agreement. If you don't believe me take a look at this post from years back (click here). You'll see a variety of my hairstyles over the year and that's just a handful of them.

So why am I writing about my hair? Because I'm getting married in August and I've been growing my hair out this past year to have a big selection of pretty hairstyles. However, when January 1st came this year.. I decided I needed a change... and I chopped off more than half my hair. Now I love it, it's cute, but I want my long hair back already! Isn't that how it always works?!

If you have any tips on how I can make my hair grow faster, please share haha! 

My Fitness Pal

With the Wedding coming up in 8.... no 7... oh man.. 6 months.. I'm trying to get myself in shape. It's not a matter of losing weight, but more so I just want to feel healthier and get toned. My biggest problem isn't committing to exercising but what I eat. I tried for a while going on a diet but that didn't last too long because we're always so busy and eating whatever we can when we're on the run. I think you may be shaking your head and agreeing that if not now, there's been a time for you too where you just grab anything from your fridge, cabinets, the store or somewhere unhealthy because you have no time to manage your meals. 

My future sister-in-law showed me this killer app today and I can't help but share it with everyone I know! No matter what kind of smartphone you have, this app is available and the best part? It's free! You can track everything you eat each day in a little diary. You begin by putting in information about yourself, such as weight, height, age and then what your goal weight is. You  may want to stay the same weight but watch what you eat, lose weight or for some gain weight. 

What is this awesome app called? My Fitness Pal is the app that I have fallen in love with and I've completed my day one. Below is not my specific plan but screen shots of the app as you'll see the date is from 2010, haha. You can also keep track online if you prefer not to use your phone or don't have access to a smartphone. Enjoy!

Oh Nemo!

Do you live in New England? Were you affected by the recent Blizzard of 2013? I like to call him Nemo but he's also known as Charlotte. I rather imagine a fish throwing all that snow on us then a spider, wouldn't you? So the snow came and what did we do? We had a fun time locked inside our home while the snow covered the ground like water splashing up on the shore. We even enjoyed our deck one night, sitting on the swing which had no cushions and our butts frozen. Our choice of beverages was a sweet red wine for me and Charlie had a no named bottle of beer. Peanut kept running outside that night but his little 9 lb body couldn't handle the chill. 

The next day as we stepped outside to see the damage and how much snow needed to be shoveled away Peanut pranced around and absolutely loved rolling in the snow. Eventually, he did tire out as you see below. I'd love to hear how all of you spent your time locked inside or even the time you spent in the snow!

We learn so much about ourselves in strenuous situations. Even though we weren't incredibly stressed, except for the snow and where to move it all,, we were survivors! It sounds silly but Charlie is amazing when it comes to surviving and I'm learning a lot from him. You have to always find the sun during a storm and it's there... and even though you can't see it right away you know it'll show it's face sooner than later.

Embrace Letting Go

Walking along the beach this past Sunday with my other half. I thought how Summer felt like yesterday and Winter still is in front of us. Pretty soon it'll be Summer again; however, it'll be a different summer. Not the same as the past. We will not have the same memories, but there will be new amazing ones. I let go of last summer to get ready for this past fall and now winter. I let go of Summer to embrace the change of the seasons.

It's so hard to let go. Don't you agree? The person who can stand before me and with no hesitation and say "it's so easy to let go".. I have so much respect but at the same time I have to ask, "how?" It's very difficult to let go. It's tough to separate your emotions and lock them away. That's what makes us human. 

As we grow our body changes. Okay, maybe I'm going too far back to Health Class.... So our body changes, then we have to get new clothes. With that our style changes and then our personality changes.. Or perhaps, vice versa. We now hang out with different friends who have the same interests and wear the same clothes. Either way, we're growing.. and letting go of what was before. Letting go of those clothes, music, foods. Then we continue to grow and the places we enjoyed going to, no longer interest us. We find new places and with new places are new faces, new bodies.. new friends.

We continue to grow.. because we're human and that's what we do. We now are working, and maybe jumping from job to job. Again, figuring out what we like as our interests and goals are changing like the weatherman's forecast. 

Ultimately, what my main thought of with letting go is how at several points in our lives because of our outlook on life and how we change ourselves.. we end up leaving people in those parts of our lives. We still have the memories but sadly there are people that meant a lot to us, that helped get us through those times but now we can continue our lives and embrace whoever meet and whatever we end up doing. 

Embrace life's changes ahead of you.. embrace letting go...

Love Starts With You

A photo of me when I was a wee little one. I felt it was fitting for this post. :)

I remember my first anxiety attack. Or perhaps it's a panic attack? To me they're both the same. Regardless, I remember it so clearly... as I know how to spell my name. 

I was in 4th grade laying on my parents bed watching the original 90210 just after I had taken a shower. My mom was folding laundry in the same room, my sister was in her bedroom and my father was downstairs in our living room watching television. 

I had a bad day at school that day. There was that awful girl drama between some of my friends and I happened to be in the middle of it. I think my problem was I always wanted everyone to be friends so being the mediator was the worst job to have, especially at that age. But the moment I returned home from school a part of me felt at peace, that everything would be okay in a few days because people forget, friends move on and then something new comes up that draws everyone's attention away. 

So I'm laying on my parents bed watching 90210.. I'm trying to focus on the show but all's that I could think of was school and how my friends were upset with one another. I could only think about how people get hurt.. but why do they get hurt... why do people want to hurt people... it's not fair we cry.. why do we cry... why do people want to make others cry... why do people feel happy when they make others cry... why do we laugh at others when they get hurt.. and you can imagine the thoughts just did that snowball effect. As I'd try to shake my thoughts and focus on the drama of 90210 in front of me.. there on that specific episode was backstabbing, friends fighting and people hurting one another. My chest began tightening.. The immediate thought was.. here are older people (yes I know it's TV).. and they're fighting.. they're making each other cry... they're laughing at their pain.. they're deliberately trying to ruin each other's lives. 

I had an anxiety.... panic... crazy I'm way too young for this...attack... thinking that no matter where I go in life there are going to be people around me hurting others. I felt that life would never get better and there is always going to be bad people, or even friends in my life that will hurt me.. or worst of all I'd hurt them. I cried to my Mom.. I cried that I wished I'd never grow up.. She comforted me and laughed in a caring way. She said everything was going to be okay and she calmed me down. 

That was 4th grade... so I guess I was 10-11-ish years old? I'm 28 now and I can tell you that little 10 year old girl that I once was.... was pretty smart. I've managed to make it through a couple decades after that and what I've seen in life all these years definitely fits all those thoughts that made me panic. I have come across people who have hurt me, hurt others and I know first hand I've made bad decisions that have hurt people I loved as well. 

Somehow, some days when I'm out and about I look around me and see adults with the minds of those 10 year girls and boys fighting in school over looks, sports.. judging their families or their actions.. whispering and snickering behind others backs...

Because of this memory that I think of anytime I see someone feeling or getting hurt is why I believe in caring for others. It's why I originally created this Blog. Because there is good and there is still love out there aside from the hurt, hatred and negativity that hides in the shadows. 

Love is everywhere and it starts with you.